So, speaking of Love…

…I’m getting married, in precisely… 1 day, 22 hours, and 54 minutes… so sayeth the Countdown Clock on my cell phone.

To say “I’m excited!” would be a severe understatement.

To say “I am excited-scared-happy-outofmymind-giddy-nervous-ecstatic-andbeyondunderstandablespeech” would be a bit closer.

Have I told you, dear readers, about my X?  I know that the last year or so of my blog Life has been sporadic and full of half-entries spewing whatever happened to bubble to the surface at the moment that I was feeling the need to blog. But have I really told you about my X?

…and immediately I struggle with words…damn the shortcomings of language!  Give it a name, right?  I will try…I will fail… but I will try.  He is smart, funny, sarcastic, handsome, thoughtful, romantic, considerate, respectful, genuine, caring, sexy… he inspires me, he makes me think, he encourages me… he Loves me, adores me, worships me, cherishes me… he cooks me dinner, he makes me drinks, he does laundry & washes dishes, he loves my family (!),  he decorates with me, he sings with me, he cries with me, he laughs with me, he will listen to me without talking, he will hold me without asking what’s wrong, he will drive when I need him too and let me drive when I want to, he is my High Priest, he is the Love of my Life, he is my Partner, he knows when to rub my back or when to rub my feet, he listens to my dreams and supports them, he expects the best of me, he takes pictures of me and brags about me, he LOVES MY KID and she loves him, he vacuums, he brings me sangria and chocolate, he will make Love to me and he will fuck me AND ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE SEPARATE AND CONNECTED AND IMPORTANT BEYOND WORDS.

In short, X has made me a believer.

Before his Love:

I felt the idea of “soul mates” was fairy tale-ish and immature. I thought the concept of “true love” was a simplistic and unrealistic idea. I thought happiness was what you made of it. I thought love stories were bull shit and I loudly heckled television shows & movies that portrayed romatic relationships. I struggled with the concept of romance and ridiculed myself for wanting it. I talked myself into a desperate place where I tried to balance deep thinking with shallow feeling.  I tried to drown believing with thinking.  I tried to hide myself from myself.

Now:

Well… if you’ve read my recent blog posts you know, I’m a believer.

And in less than 2 days, I will be Mrs. X.  Hail Eris.

 

School, books, and the Rule of Being Excellent to Each Other.

I finally sat down and laid out a semester by semester plan for getting my degree. It’s not going to happen as quickly as I’d like. I had hoped to apply to the program come Spring of next year and get started in the Fall but unless I cram three classes into this Summer semester (which we would have to pay for) and another four into this Fall it isn’t going to happen. Given the stress I was under this past semester, I decided not to do that to my family ; )  So, finishing up my pre-requisites by going half time will put me graduating in 2011. Additionally, doing it in that time frame will give me time to pursue a couple of classes just for me, like German and World Religions so I’m kinda looking forward to it actually.

I just finished reading American Shamans, by Jack Montgomery. I recommend it to anyone interested in American folk magic, it’s a fantastic read following a man on his very personal journey from skeptical youth to an adult involved in the practice of Powwow. Now I’m reading The Inner Reaches of Outer Space: Metaphor as Myth and as Religion, by Joseph Campbell which also promises to be an enlightening read. I might have to put it down for a little while though, as I am anticipating another book in the mail that I bought on Ebay, lol. The aforementioned author, Jack Montgomery, was taught by a man named Lee Gandee, who wrote a book called Strange Experience that was published in 1971 and is no longer in print. Amazon.com had copies for sale from $40 – $210 for one in mint condition.  I found a copy on Ebay for $20.  Score! But reading Jack’s book has fueled an interest in me about Powwow and Hexerei, both magical traditions with German roots, so I have a long list of “to obtain and read” books from that. Last night I went to a local used book store with my Lady and got a copy of Joseph Campbell’s The Power of Myth (which I’d been wanting for a while) and another book called Mary Magdalene: Christianity’s Hidden Goddess by Lynn Picknett that caught my fancy. The story of Mary Magdalene has always been a fringe interest of mine but I’ve never dedicated any time or brainpower to studying about her. Of course, at this rate, I have reading material for the next several years already lined up.

My friend X and I had a discussion a few weeks back about ethics in magic.  We discussed The Golden Rule and The Threefolds Law; two rules on opposite ends of the Spiritual spectrum that are set up as guidelines for our behaviour toward one another. I’ve not been a fan of the Threefolds Law. To me it smacks more of a “hand of God” threat to keep one in line rather than a sound ethical reasoning. He’s not a fan of The Golden Rule (probably because of the Christian connotations more than anything else. Not saying I blame him, I’m just saying). Jokingly, he threw in Bill and Ted’s “Be excellent to each other!”.  I said why not? I think Bill and Ted hit the nail on the head. Just be good to each other and have fun damn it!

So, to each of you I say:

“Be excellent to each other!  And party on dudes!”

 

A fire in the… head?

All Bibles or sacred codes have been the causes of the following Errors.
1. That Man has two real existing principles Viz: a Body & a Soul.
2. That Energy, call’d Evil, is alone from the Body, & that Reason, call’d Good, is alone from the Soul.
3. That God will torment Man in Eternity for following his Energies.But the following Contraries to these are True
1. Man has no Body distinct from his Soul for that call’d Body is a portion of Soul discern’d by the five Senses, the chief inlets of Soul in this age.
2. Energy is the only life and is from the Body and Reason is the bound or outward circumference of Energy.
3 Energy is Eternal Delight.

William Blake The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

I love this passage.  I have not read the entire writing (though now I think I will seek it out and do just that) but this small bit of it has captivated my thoughts since I first read it last night.  In mulling it over the part where he says “Man has no Body distinct from his Soul for that call’d Body is a portion of Soul discern’d by the five Senses, the chief inlets of Soul in this age.” Is the part that has stood out most sharply to me.  I’ve been trying to figure out what, exactly, he means by that.  “Man has no Body distinct from his Soul” I was thinking earlier today that perhaps he meant that body and Soul are one, not separate, or perhaps inseparable. How can this be, I thought, if body and Soul are inseparable what becomes of that Soul when the body dies?  What then happens to that Soul that much of mankind believes to be immortal?  I have spent all of my Life believing that my body is but a vessel for my Soul.  Nothing more.  Just a shell.  This, no doubt, is carried over from my Christian upbringing and this is the first time I have truly ever questioned that or even, really, considered any alternative.  But upon re-reading the passage this evening the rest of that sentence caught my attention, “for that call’d Body is a portion of the Soul discern’d by the five Senses”.  That which we call “Body” he explains is a part of the Soul, part of the Soul which we perceive through our senses that he describes as “inlets of Soul”.  The ancient Celts believed the head was the seat of the Soul.  They described enlightenment and Spiritual fervor as a fire in the head.  It makes one wonder… if the body and Soul are one and indiscernible from each other perhaps, the body being merely a part of the Soul, is sloughed off at Death like a serpent would shed a skin. Perhaps the Soul does not reside in the head nor the heart… perhaps our whole being is our Soul.  Perhaps the mind works like a Spiritual CPU for the Soul, processing that information which is captured by our senses (personally I believe we are not limited to the five, but that’s another post for another day).  The idea of it interests me to distraction and has much potential for further understandings…