Breathing a sigh of relief.

It’s over.  Finally.  It’s over.

 

Now to mark that one off my list and look forward.

 

tick-tock… tick-tock… tick-tock…

I am SO close now I can hardly breathe.

Don’t want to talk about it much for fear of jinxing it.

On the edge… almost… there.

 

Don’t call me “Pollyanna”.

My attorney called today.  They have the paperwork ready.  I’m to go to their office tomorrow to sign it.  It’ll be filed and he’ll be served at some point later this week or the first of next.  This makes me very anxious.  I worked a little bit of a candle spell tonight to help things along… bright yellow, sunshine and daisies, right?  Speed of light I’m thinking… no hidden agendas… smooth and fast.  Just like Marianne.

EDIT:  Damn.  That candle burned fast and completely.  Not even a wick left.  This is a good sign.

 

Lyrics inspire me

Well, better put, I mostly listen to songs with lyrics that inspire me.  Tori, for example:

Yello bird flying
Get shot in the wing
good year for hunter
And Christmas parties
And I hate and I hate
And I hate and I hate
Elevator music
The way we fight
The way I’m left here silent

Oh these little earthquakes
Here we go again
These little earthquakes
Doesn’t take much to rip us into pieces

We danced in graveyards
With vampires till dawn
We laughed in the faces of kings Never afraid to burn
And I hate and I hate
And I hate and i hate
Disintegration
Watching us wither
Black winged roses that safely changed their color

Oh these little earthquakes
Here we go again
These little earthquakes
Doesn’t take much to rip us into pieces

I can’t reach you
I can’t reach you
Give me life Give me pain
Give me myself again

Oh these little earthquakes
Here we go again
These little earthquakes
Doesn’t take much to rip us into pieces

I found myself an attorney today.  As X put it, time to put a square knot in that loose end.

 

Figuring things out.

When the ghosts of the past just won’t leave you alone…

We roll along from day to day not thinking about the people from our past, people that we loved and left long ago… I wonder, sometimes, where does my responsibility to those people end? Even more to the point, when you marry and divorce can that connection ever truly be broken?

The line between Love and Hate seems long, wide and often hazy when going through divorce or separation. You look back, try hard to remember, to maybe pinpoint a moment, a day, an incident where the switch was flipped… but it’s damn near impossible to say. You can remember the times when you loved him and you can recall the times that you hated him but the in-between is convoluted and difficult to nail down.  I don’t know for sure why Love changes… why people change… but I do know that the heart is a funny creature.  I do know that things are much more difficult in the long run if you leave things unfinished, words unsaid, and don’t tie up loose ends.  And I think when it is all said a done, a broken heart never completely heals. We can find peace and happiness, yes; but those old wounds are still there no matter how deep we bury them.