Quickest Girl in the Frying Pan's Weblog

”Grief is heavy. Have you noticed?” I texted X on Tuesday.

“All thoughts and emotions have weight and substance” was his reply, “especially sad ones.”

I was sitting in the ICU waiting room at Fort Sanders with my friend Myst. Next to my Lady J, I am closer to Myst than any female.  She is one of my Chosen Family. She is a cornerstone of my Inner Circle. Tuesday my heart broke as I watched her struggle with the knowledge that her Mother was dying. I held her hand and we cried together, each grappling silently with the futility of wishing there was something we could do; each pondering the hard face of mortality that is often taken for granted.

Grammy held on until last night when she passed through the veil about 7 pm. I was not with my friend when it happened, but she was surrounded by her family, people who knew and loved Grammy in her Life. While I did not know her well, I thought she was a cool Lady. She always greeted me with a smile and her influence on the people that I love is apparent

A family dealing with the loss of a loved one is a very intimate thing. It is challenging, being on the outside of a grieving family; trying to figure out where you can help, when it is appropriate for you to be there, and what to say or not say.  It will be, I’m sure, a never ending learning process… but, in spite of how hard it is, in spite of how painful it is, with all of the families that I will be working with in the future facing the same thing I hope I never become numb to it. I hope that I can always feel it, always relate, always know… to somehow help. If by nothing else but being there to listen.

I love you Myst. Your sadness is my sadness. If you need me for anything, I will not be far away.  Just say the word and I will come.

I have an MP3 player that holds something around 450 songs. Music for me has always been close to my Heart and much of what I love, I mean REALLY Love, is akin to a Spiritual experience. Thanks to file sharing with friends, we have a large collection, much of it I’ve never heard and don’t know where it came from. A few weeks back I wasrotating out my music and putting some new stuff on my player when I came across a song I hadn’t heard before, didn’t know what it was, but thought I’d put it on the player and try it out.  So, the first time I heard it was at work. When it came on I seriously had to refrain from standing up and dancing in my cubicle, lol. It’s in Sanskrit though so I had no clue what they were saying. The chant has stuck with me, I find myself humming it in the shower and waking up singing it. So this morning I did a little research and thought I would share the inspiration with you, my friends.

Namaste,
Marianne

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Om Namah Shivaaya
Shivaaya namaha,
Shivaaya namah om
Shivaaya namaha, namaha Shivaaya
Shambhu Shankara namah Shivaaya,
Girijaa Shankara namah Shivaaya
Arunaachala Shiva namah Shivaaya

I bow to the Soul of all. I bow to my Self. I don’t know who I am, so I
bow to you, Shiva, my own true Self. I bow to my teachers who loved me
with Love. Who took care of me when I couldn’t take care of myself. I
owe everything to them. How can I repay them? They have everything in
the world. Only my love is mine to give, but in giving I find that it is
their love flowing through me back to the world…I have nothing. I have
everything. I want nothing. Only let it flow to you, my love… sing!

~Krishna Das

Om Namah Shivaya is known as the great redeeming mantra also known as
five-syllable mantra

The meaning : 
It means  “I bow to Shiva.” Shiva is the supreme reality, the inner Self.
It  is the name given to consciousness that dwells in all. Shiva is the
name of your true identity- your self.

According to Hindu mythology there are three Gods who run this creation.
The Brahma – who creates the universe, the Vishnu – who preserves the
Universe and the Shiva- who in the end destroys the universe. Among the
three deities, Shiva, though considered as destroyer, also symbolize the
- the inner self which remains intact even after everything ends.

In this mantra the chanter (one who repeats the mantra) bow to Shiva-
his true self.

Om Namah Shivay is a very powerful mantra. It has been said about this
mantra that if this mantra vibrates continually in your heart, then you
have no need to perform austerities, to meditate, or to practise yoga.
To repeat this mantra you need no rituals or ceremonies, nor must you
repeat it at an auspicious time or in a particular place.” This mantra
is free of all restrictions. It can be repeated by anyone, young or old,
rich or poor and no matter what state a person is in, it will purify him.

http://www.meditationiseasy.com/mCorner/techniques/Om_namah_shivaya.htm