Quickest Girl in the Frying Pan's Weblog

Yesterday morning J walked the middle darkling to the bus stop, like she does every morning. But yesterday middle darkling says to her mom “I miss Aunt Tony, Mom.  I want to visit him.  When you talk to him will you tell him I miss him and Love him?”.  J assured her that she would.

A little less than an hour later we received a phone call to let us know Aunt Tony had died unexpectedly of a heart attack the night before.

To say that we are sad is, I’m sure, a given.

Tony was a flamboyant and fun person. At family functions he always made sure to pull me and the eldest darkling out of the corner and make sure we felt welcomed. He always made us laugh. My only regret is that I didn’t have the opportunity to spend more time with him.

The title of “Aunt” was a bit of a tongue-in-cheek term of endearment because he was definitely “the bitch” in the relationship he shared with K’s uncle. They were together for 15 years, they had just celebrated their anniversary. But, because Florida does not recognize same-sex marriage, his body still lies in the hospital morgue while they try to get in touch with Tony’s “family”.  Not even in Death will they release him to the man who loved him and stood by him for 15 years of his Life.

To say that we are angry is, I’m sure, also a given.

Today the SO’s, the darklings and I are together at home sharing together in the Love of our Family and remembering Aunt Tony with tears and with laughter. 

Remember my friends, there is no promise of tomorrow. Love those close to you with that in mind. Live each day with gratitude and thanksgiving in your heart for the Love you are given. Remember that Love does not know any boundaries; not gender, race, religion, or nationality.  Gay rights are HUMAN rights and thus affect us all.

Namaste.

So, I had something happen today that I want to get off my chest.  It is irritating me more than I think it should, so what is your opinion?

Meetup.com.  It’s a neat place.  You can look up people in or near your city with similar interests who want to get together and talk about those interests or wtf ever. I’ve been hiding in my little cave for a few years now, since the dissolution of my 2nd marriage and the Spiritual group we were a part of together. Now I find myself wanting to peek out a bit.  Find out who’s new, see who’s still around, and hopefully make some new friends.  I like making new friends.  So I set up a profile on Meetup.com, joined one group, and have been lurking. Today I signed up for another group. It’s called A.S.P.S. (All Spiritual Paths Sacred) and they have an icon that says “Coexist” that is circled by various religious symbols. Totally in line with what I believe and want to pursue. I posted my bio which basically declared that I consider myself neo-pagan and that my motto is “whatever works”. Now, I’ve had my eye on the group for a little while but had some trepidation because of the leader of the group.  He uses the title “Lord”, which is not uncommon in the Wiccan community but I find it smacks pretentious and digs at me.  I’ve met too many “Lords” and “Ladies” that haven’t earned the respect such a title warrants but demand it anyway. The “Lord” left me a message saying that “Whatever works is cool, but how about Whatever works and harms none?”.

*blink*

What?  Do I come off as newbie?  Did I ask for your not-so-subtle fatherly guidance? Did I say I’m Wiccan?  No.  I did not.

So, I’m irritated.  It felt to me like he was being very presumptious to tack that little Wiccan moral guidepost to my motto.  Though I do admit that I expected no less from what I’d assumed about him from his profile and other public profiles he has in the Community.  I also admit that I could be a tad defensive. I have more than a little anxiety at the prospect of coming out of my cave despite the fact that I really want to…

And I plan to.  In complete defiance of my Fear.  I plan to.  The World is full of assholes.  It’s like thrift store shopping.  You gotta be patient enough to wade through racks full of crap to dig out the real gems.